I'm a missionary, living in a foreign country, I should have exciting things to post, right?
But to be honest, the most exciting thing that's happened to me in the last week are the new houseplants I've added to my tiny little room.
I've jokingly named them, and said how I feel like such a grown up by buying houseplants (though naming plants is hardly grown up), but really I just like how they make my room feel a little more cozy and bring a bit of life in it, in contrast to the cold grey-ness that I see outside my window everyday.
I know that this is really not that exciting, though, to anyone else but me.
In all honesty, I've been slightly discouraged by ministry as of late. Don't get me wrong, I love working with the ladies behind the windows, and I love working with the homeless guys, but I'm not seeing any fruit. In previous ministries I was involved in, it was pretty easy to see fruit. Working with DTS, you could see the students growing. On outreaches, you could see people responding to altar calls, or the joy on children's faces as you loved on them and played with them. We didn't always see the response we were hoping for, but we got responses fairly regularly.
Recently, I've been reading friends' posts about healings, miracles and transformations happening in the nations, which I love, and am so excited for them! But I don't see that in what I'm doing. One day, a lady might be open to talking with us and we have a great conversation, but the next day she won't even open her window for us. Or one night I might have a pretty good conversation with one of the homeless guys, and he seems like he's receiving the truth I'm speaking, but then the next time he shows up high as a kite or drunk off his rocker and wants nothing to do with God.
Hardly fruitful or exciting ministry. The last couple weeks though, I have realized that I'm in a season of "sowing" & "watering". So what does that mean?
When a farmer plants his seeds, he can't just go put them in the ground wherever, and then expect to see the fruit the next day. There might be rocks, or weeds, or it might just be sandy on top, and not really good for growth. He's got to clear all that out and prepare the soil to be a good place for the seed to grow. Once that's all ready, he can plant the seed. Then he has to water it, and it takes time before the plant will actually begin to grow and he will see the fruit of his work.
Preparing the soil and clearing rocks is hard work. There's nothing glorious about it, but it has to be done. You can't see the fruit until you've done the work beforehand.
I realized, this is what I'm doing now. Along with my team, we are preparing the soil & planting seeds. We are clearing out the weeds & rocks...all the lies people believe about who they are and misconceptions about who God really is, lies about how to be saved or even about what is truth...and we're preparing the soil by telling the truth from God's word, sharing our own experiences with God, and planting the seed of the gospel. In some cases, we are watering seeds that others have already planted, but we're either sowing or watering.
It's dirty work, not pretty, and you don't see fruit for a while, but it has to be done. And there's generally nothing exciting to tell about it.
So this is my life right now. I've got no miraculous healing stories. No amazing stories of repentance. Not even any cool travel stories. Just normal life...plugging away in the day to day.
Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with it. I'm still totally glad I'm here...it's just a different kind of work. And because of that, sometimes it means the most exciting thing in my life is a new houseplant. Every once in a while we see some breakthrough, but again, it's every once in a while, not every day. Yet I know that God is at work.
I just have to remain faithful to my work, to preparing the soil and planting & watering seeds. And I trust that God will do the rest. In 1 Corinthians, Paul even wrote about this,
"I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth. He who plants and he who waters are one, and each will receive his wages according to his labor. For we are God's fellow workers...."
No matter what any of us are doing, we just have to faithfully do the task God has given us. Sometimes we are the ones preparing the soil and planting seeds, sometimes we are the one who waters, and sometimes we get the joy of being the harvester and see the fruit. In all of it though, God is the one who is really working in people's lives, and He gets the glory.
So persevere in your work, trust God in it, and take delight in the little things, like houseplants. And it's totally ok if your life doesn't seem thrilling & exiciting. :) There is a season for everything.
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